Black Sun Rising
by DaeDae22
Summary: Elena will never be the same since her brother disappeared. But what will she do when her life is suddenly in danger and the only thing that can save her is the one thing she hates? R&R, please. Takes place after Breaking Dawn.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or its characters. They are the work of literary genius Stephenie Meyer.**

Sometimes in the howl of the wind I can hear him singing to me again, breathing gently in my ear, churning my name on his tongue like a lullaby. In the sound of the rain dripping onto the roof from the trees I can almost hear the gentle creak of the floorboards as he pads down the hallway, barefoot, from his own bedroom toward my own.

I can't think about him when the sun shines. When the sun is shining down through the forests like ribbons all I can remember is how he hated the sun; how the sun had only reminded him of what we had lost.

This morning, like most mornings in Forks, Washington, it was raining. The drops pelted my face when I stepped out under the canopy that surrounded my home, and suddenly I could remember his laugh, and his voice telling me I was his best friend. I hugged my arms tightly around my body and smiled, sinking myself into the memory. I stayed there for awhile until my skin was soaked and my hair was plastered to the sides of my face. When I finally realized what it was I was doing, I dropped my arms in horror. This was ridiculous and I had school; soon.

I raced into the tiny cabin which my mother and I called home and threw myself into the shower. To my surprise I was at Forks High School with five minutes to spare. I didn't like spare minutes, especially at school. I had never really connected with anyone here other than him, and being here only reminded me of how alone I was now.

I pushed open the car door with one hand and flung my backpack over one shoulder with the other. Sloshing through the puddles that littered the parking lot my jeans became spattered almost immediately, and my teeth were chattering when I reached the doors.

First period was the bane of my existence. It was in that class, history class, that the only person in the school who bothered to talk to me sat right next to me. I pleaded and begged with the heavens to allow the seat next to my own to be empty today, to give me just one reason for happiness in my hopeless life. I deflated when I spotted her, Amy Taylor, sitting in the same seat next to mine, as always.

"Elena," Amy eyed me with pity saturating her features. "how are you?"

I sank into my seat and sighed, rolling my eyes. "I'm fine."

"Fine? Dear, there isn't any need to me brave. You can talk to me." Amy patted my hand reassuringly.

"Has anyone ever told you that you converse like an old woman?" I snapped.

Amy shook her head. "Poor Elena. Have you heard anything from your brother?"

"Brother?" I asked in a dead tone that I didn't even recognize.

"Aaron?" Amy pushed.

Anger shot through every vein in my body in seconds. What right did she have to pry into my life? What right did she have to say his name? She hadn't even known him; she didn't even know me. I flung my chair back with one leg and stomped out of the room. I just couldn't handle school today.

I knew if Aaron were here, he would probably explain to me, in detail, why stealing our mother's car was not a good idea. But he wasn't here. Aaron had chosen another life to live, a more dangerous life that didn't involve me. I slammed my foot on the gas, smiling when the car lurched forward to eighty.

I had never been to the La Push reservation. I had never had much reason to go there before, and I had only moved to Forks a year before. Now, however, it was the only place I wanted to be; the one place that held no memories of Aaron and how he had betrayed me. I rolled down every single window in mom's Volkswagen and let the cold breeze blow onto my face and through my hair silencing every conviction I had that said this was wrong. When I reached First Beach, I nearly sprinted to the water, pulling off my sweatshirt and my shoes as I ran.

The water was a dull grey and from the clouds overhead I could ascertain that it was impossible for the water to be warm. I didn't care though. I slowed to a walk when I neared the water, pulling off my socks and tossing them behind me. I closed my eyes and sunk my toes into the sand, tensing my body for the sprint into the ocean.

_One, two, three…_

"You probably shouldn't do that."

I whirled quickly at the sound of the voice, my eyes already tightened into a glare. "I'm busy." I hissed.

He smiled. "Yes, I can see that."

Only after he spoke again, did I notice what he was. He was beautiful, that much was obvious. His skin was pale, white almost. His hair was black and looked like silk waving in the wind. Underneath his black eyes were dark circles that made it seem as though he hadn't slept in months. He was one of them. Like Aaron.

I felt my mouth drop and I took a step back. "Leave me alone." I commanded, but felt silly telling him what to do at all. He could kill me in seconds if he only had the inclination to do so.

His smile deflated and he took on a wary look. "What's the matter?"

"Leave. Me. Alone." I emphasized each word slowly and matter-of-factly, squaring my shoulders and clenching my fists.

"I'm only telling you the water is very cold, and there is a storm coming in soon." He replied, his voice full of obvious confusion.

"I won't have anything to do with your kind." I hissed. "Leave." I thought Aaron would be the only vampire in Forks. Apparently these woods were fraught with mythical creatures. My body was beginning to shake uncontrollably both from fear and from my own determination to pretend I wasn't afraid of him. I watched in satisfaction as my words took him by surprise and he took his own step back.

"I'm sorry?" he asked politely.

I didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't want to see this beautiful immortal with the faint light from behind the clouds glinting off his skin; I didn't want to be reminded of the brother who had been my best friend before he was pulled into this life of death and blood. I turned on one heel and ran, my feet kicking up sand in my haste to escape from his tousled silken waves and his melodious voice. I ran from him and myself and Aaron, my breath coming in small, faint gasps as I reached the trees. I forced myself forward though I heard nothing in pursuit behind me.

I felt my hair becoming snagged on branches but I pushed forward, though my bare feet cried out in protest. A part of me felt that if I ran, then this would be less real somehow. Eventually, however, I collapsed from exhaustion, my entire body feeling as rubbery as jello. I sank into the cold wetness of the forest floor and waited. I wasn't sure what it was that I waited for, and neither did I care. I tried in vain to dispel the memories flooding in my mind like a waterfall.

_"I can't change what I am, Lena." Aaron pleaded, reaching one hand for me. _

_I pulled away before he could touch my arm. "You're not anything, Aaron. You're my brother, my best friend. You don't have to do this, be this."_

_Aaron sighed and looked away, folding his arms across his chest. "Please, Elena. I need you to understand why I'm doing this. You're my sister; I need you to support my decision."_

_I gasped. "Your decision? You _want_ me to support the fact that you want to be a monster? That you want to kill people? How could any decent person support a decision like that?"_

_"I can see you're not going to ever understand, Elena." Aaron replied, his green eyes, so like my own glinting in anger now. "But I don't need your approval. If you can't accept it, then I won't force you too. Goodbye, Lena." He hesitated before pulling me into a bear hug. "You're always going to be my best friend. "_

My hands clawed at the ground as I tried to fight it. I couldn't think of him, it hurt to much. He might as well be dead. _He might as well be dead. _

"I can help you."

I heard the voice whispering in my ear, but at first I didn't react to it. It took me a moment to realize that the voice had been real in the first place. When I did, I turned slowly, my eyes meeting the dark brown eyes of a large, muscled man. "W-what?" I stammered.

He smiled. "I can help you. If your lost. Are you hurt?"

"No."

"Good." He reached one russet colored hand out to help me stand. "I'm Jacob Black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or its characters. They are the work of literary genius Stephenie Meyer.**

My head felt a little hazy as Jacob Black pulled me to my feet.  
"You're barefoot?" he questioned.

I looked down at my scratched feet, which were surprisingly cold, and sighed. I didn't want to look like a crazy person, but it didn't seem like I had a choice. But how could you just tell someone that you just saw a vampire, ran away, and somehow ended up lost? That wasn't exactly a topic for casual conversation.

"Yeah, I am." I threw up my arms in defeat. "I was, I don't know, running." I winced knowing how fake my voice sounded, how pathetic an excuse I had just given him.

Jacob smiled. "Running, barefoot?"

I shook my head in frustration before I noticed that Jacob Black wasn't wearing a shirt. Or shoes. Suddenly laughter was boiling up in my throat. "I see your doing the same." I snickered, pointing at his bare chest. "And going one step above me, too."

He shrugged. "I get warm easily." He turned and began walking back the way he must have come. "Why are you out here, if you don't mind me asking."

I fell into step behind him, fighting back a groan every time I took another step. "I live in Forks. I've never been to La Push before. " It wasn't exactly a lie, but my voice still seemed to falter as I said it.

"I see." He walked in silence for awhile. I trailed behind, trying my hardest to keep up with his sure footed and precise steps. "Well, it's not safe to be in the woods alone." He said finally.

"I can take care of myself. "

Jacob laughed. "I don't doubt that. But there are some things no one can protect you from."

My eyes glanced up quickly. What was he talking about? "I don't think I completely understand what you're saying."

He glanced over his shoulder. "Forget it. Just…don't come out here alone again. Anything could happen. Think of what would have happened if I hadn't found you." Jacob pointed out.

I trudged after him, my toe striking a stone. I fought the urge to yelp, and limped after him. "How much further?" I asked.

"That depends. I'm not sure where your suppose to be going. Hell, I don't even know your name."

I hadn't remembered that part. I nearly slapped my hand to my forehead. "Wow, I'm sorry. I'm Elena. And if you don't know where I'm suppose to be going, then where were you leading us to?"

Jacob only smiled before he took one step out into a meadow of high green waves of grass. Beyond the green sea was a beautiful, three story white house. "I have friends that live here. They could drive you wherever you need to go."

I glanced up at him in surprise. Who knew the Quileute's were this friendly? "That's really nice of you Jacob. Thank you."

"No problem." Jacob walked forward into the field, and I followed quickly. I was surprised to find someone had already set foot outside of the house onto the porch before we had crossed the field halfway. Jacob didn't seem concerned however, he simply made the last five feet running and sprang up onto the porch.

"Heya, Bells." He grinned.

"Jake, you're going to break the porch if you keep doing that." A beautiful voice laughed, sounding like windchimes.

I froze, and stared up in horror, reality dawning on me. No human I had ever heard had a voice like that. How could I have been so stupid? I should have noticed something different, some kind of sign. But I knew it was impossible for me to have thought that Jacob, an obvious human, would lead me to a vampire. But I still felt stupid, and mentally kicked myself for getting myself into this situation.

"Who is this?" the vampire asked flitting down the stairs gracefully.

I took a step back. How could this have all happened to me in one day? It couldn't be possible. What was it with this town? It wasn't until we had come here that Aaron had changed, had decided to become a monster. Now, in one day alone I had run into two of the same kind of monsters. People ended up dead in a town like this.

"Elena. She was lost in the woods." Jacob replied.

The vampire continued to come toward me. Her hair was a beautiful shade of chocolate brown, her skin as pale as the vampire on the beach. Her eyes were a golden color, rather inviting.

"I'm Bella." She smiled, her teeth nearly glinting.

I took another step back. "I need to go." I answered.

"What?" she looked confused.

"I…"I turned to Jacob, anger bubbling up. "You brought me here!" I accused. "You brought me here on purpose. A friend, you said. Not a vampire." I gasped suddenly realizing what my outburst had cost me. The secret that I knew what they were. The vampire named Bella gaped at me in astonishment, Jacob raising his eyebrows in surprise.

Bella stepped toward me carefully. "How could you possibly know that?"

I hesitated. I didn't want to give up anymore information that might prevent me from being allowed to leave. I still wasn't wearing shoes and I was still soaking wet. My whole body trembled with the cold. I had to do something soon. "I'm telling you, I have to leave. "

"Whoa, Elena. You can't just spring that on us and leave." Jacob replied, springing from the porch and landing on the balls of his feet a few steps below.

"Why not." I meant to say it has a question, but my voice was dead now and it sounded like a statement.

Bella stepped closer. "We're not going to hurt you, Elena. We're not…those kind of vampire's." she glanced at Jacob sheepishly and shrugged.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "What Bells is trying to say is they don't hunt humans. They aren't going to hurt you."

I shook my head, trying to assemble my thoughts. _They _weren't going to hurt me? "Why are you using plural form here?" I snapped. "Is this just a house full of the undead?"

Jacob sighed. "There is a family of them living here. But as I said before, they will not hurt you. I promise." He shook his head in frustration. "I know this sounds crazy, but I'm serious. You're safe here. We just want to know how you could possibly know, by just looking at Bella, that she was a vampire."

I had to get out of here. Out of Forks, out of Washington. I needed to go home, to where it was normal, where mythical creatures stayed in the story books. "I…can I just please leave?" I pleaded. I was cold and it felt as though my body were going into shock. Plus mom was going to figure out that I used her car to ditch school. I just needed to get out of here before everything really hit and I fell apart. "Please?" I asked again.

Bella's gaze softened, and this surprised me. "Okay. Jake, take her home." I heard the sound of the keys being thrown, but I didn't see either Bella's hand raise to throw them, or Jacob's hand flick up and grab them. It was rather discerning to be honest.

"The Volvo, huh?" Jacob smirked. "I'm surprised Edward would entrust his car to me."

"He's not." Bella glowered. "I am. Don't mess anything up.

I didn't remember much of the car ride home. I vaguely remembered telling Jacob where my mom's car was, and him saying he would send someone to drop it off. However, I didn't remember being brought from the Volvo, into my house, and being laid on my bed. Now, as I laid there amongst my old quilts what had happened the day before didn't seem real. It couldn't be real. It was as though no matter how much distance he put between us, I couldn't escape Aaron or what he had become. I was trapped. Trapped in my memories, trapped in Forks until I was eighteen.

"Elena!"

I nearly rolled out of bed when mom screamed my name. I had never been so easily startled, but apparently Forks changed you; literally. I stumbled out of bed and down the small hallway. "Mom?" I asked.

"Oh there you are." Meredith Austen replied, bustling hurriedly around the living room, grabbing her car keys and other assortment of things from the coffee table and shoving them into her purse. "Look, Elena I know you skipped school yesterday. I don't have time to argue with you about it because I have to work, but that's unacceptable. " She turned and headed for a door. "Oh, and if you ever think to use my car for your delinquent activities, think again." The door slammed.

I groaned and sank onto the sofa. Mom was always working ever since Aaron had disappeared. I guessed it was a relief to not have to deal with her scolding's because of it though.

I was nearly completely asleep again on the sofa when the doorbell rang. Then, I was rather angry. I stumbled to the door, mumbling under my breathe, and wrenched open the door. I'm not sure if my heart stopped completely or if I just wasn't aware of it anymore. He was in my doorway, perfect, and unmoving. I collapsed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or its characters. They are the work of literary genius Stephenie Meyer.**

I felt like I was floating. That was the only way I can describe coming out of the blackness. I felt like I was moving weightlessly through space and it was so peaceful that a part of me wanted to stay in this place. Where nothing could get to me; no dangers, or heartbreak, or unwanted memories. If I could choose I would stay here, forever, in the comforting swell of black.

"Elena!"

The voice seemed so far away and so very angelic at the same time. I almost felt myself sigh at the sound. It was like music seeping into my soul, that voice. It took me moment of trying before I realized I couldn't answer back.

"Elena, wake up…"

It was louder this time, and amazingly more musical then before. More heavenly.

"Elena, please…"

My eyes snapped open so suddenly that the room spun and I was sure I was going to end up fainting again. I forced my eyes to steady themselves and then took in what it was that had been whispering to me before. Strange that it was the same vampire I had seen at the beach. Even more strange that I wasn't afraid of him. He was close enough that I could see his golden eyes were almost like liquid. He was bowed over me in obvious concern, one cold hand tapping my cheek.

"Are you awake?" he asked anxiously. "I never meant to scare you."

I nodded, letting myself stare into his perfect features, waiting for the fear to take hold. He was a vampire, and although I kept forcing myself to remember that, I couldn't shy away from him like at the beach.

"Please," he began, pulling away and seating himself on the chair across the room. "let me explain why I'm here. I know it's a surprise. I probably shouldn't have come at all after you told me to leave you alone." He sighed in frustration. "I'm being very rude, Elena. I haven't even introduced myself. I am Joshua Calvin."

Joshua. The name fit. I pulled my knees up under my chin and watched him. I wasn't sure how I was suppose to feel anymore. Yesterday I had been terrified of him and now today I could barely summon any fear at all. I also didn't understand how he knew me.

"You know who I am." I pointed out.

His eyes flickered upward for a moment before again fastening on the floor. "Yes. Bella told me your name."

"Bella?" I swallowed suddenly. He knew the other one. I shouldn't have been surprised. Vampire's probably had vampire friends. Made sense.

Joshua seemed to pause for a second to take in my reaction to Bella's name. He could see that I was frightened, though how he could tell I wasn't sure. I quickly recomposed my features into a nonchalant expression. Vampire or not, I didn't _want _him to know that the others frightened me.

"Elena, you shouldn't be concerned about the Cullens. They won't harm you."

I snorted. "Sure, house full of vicious vampires? No problem."

Joshua sighed, his golden eyes seeming to plead with me silently. "They do not hunt humans, Elena. None of us do. If we did the Quileute's would never allow us to stay in Forks."

The memory suddenly hit me full force of Aaron, advancing toward me, stalking almost, his body constantly threatening to fall into a crouch. His eyes were red, a deep red like blood. I gasped and shook my head to dispel the picture. _Of course. _Vampire's who hunted humans had red eyes, unforgettable red eyes. Joshua and even Bella had eyes the color of spun gold.

"Please, I don't want you to fear me." Joshua pleaded, misunderstanding my sudden gasp.

I jumped lightly from the couch. "I don't. I'm not afraid of you…well not anymore."

He eyed me warily. "You believe me?"

I shrugged as I walked into the kitchen. "Of course. " I pulled open the fridge, pulling out the last gallon of milk and setting it onto the counter. Then I turned to watch my visitor. "However, I don't know why you're here. "

"I have to be."

I sighed. "Okay. I'm really glad that explains everything. Thanks." I retorted sarcastically.

"You're not safe here alone."

I turned again and retrieved a cup from the cupboard. Pouring myself a glass of milk I thought over what Joshua had just said to me. I wasn't safe? In Forks? Big surprise there. A town full of vampires and I wasn't safe. I almost laughed.

"I'm quite serious, Elena. You're not safe." Joshua said again, his velvet voice edging on anger.

I turned around, taking a long swig of milk. "I understand that. I just can't seem to…react to it." Confusing how I could just tell him this. I should be afraid. I should be running in terror from his too white skin, his liquid eyes that did strange things to my insides. This wasn't normal, my reactions to him now. I just couldn't seem to force the fear that I should be feeling to come to the surface.

Suddenly Joshua was at my side and I hadn't even seen him move. I flinched. "Elena. Please take this seriously. Alice saw him coming for you. Soon."

That did it. I could feel the terror beginning to rise in me at his words. I swallowed the bile that seemed to be rising in my throat. "Who is coming for me? Who is Alice?" I winced that the obvious horror in my voice.

Joshua's hands fluttered as though he wanted to comfort me, but seemed to stop himself. He took a step back. "Alice Cullen. Bella's…sister." He stammered, his eyes flew to the window and then back to me. "We have to go Elena. You're not safe here. He knows where to find you here."

I tossed my empty glass into the sink. "_Who_, Joshua?" I demanded.

"Later." He said. "Grab what you need."

No, that was not going to work for me. "Tell me, or I'm not going to go with you."

A light of panic lit his eyes and he instinctively reached for me. "This is serious."

"Yes, I'm aware of that. But it's my life, right? I deserve to know."

"Elena, this is not open for negotiations." He growled.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying." I answered stubbornly. I couldn't believe I was standing in my small kitchen arguing with a vampire over my own impending doom. It was almost comical.

"I will tell you. Once we reach the Cullen's and your safe." He replied, and when his eyes flashed with anger I knew I had lost this argument.

I stamped out of the kitchen, down the hall, and into my bedroom, grumbling. Joshua was already there, to my surprise, throwing clothes into a backpack. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not going to be gone for weeks here, Joshua."

He barely paused in what he was doing. "We don't know how long it will be. Alice can't see exactly when he's coming. We have to take every precaution."

I sighed. This vampire was being ridiculous and I was honestly still confused as to why I mattered so much that he had to act this way. I hadn't been very nice to him the first time we met, and now here he was in my room, handling my clothes, just trying to protect me. It was beyond confusing. I quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and my favorite long sleeved green shirt. I ran a brush through my long, black hair and threw on a pair of tennis shoes. "Ready." I said finally, glancing up.

He had packed everything he deemed necessary and was hold the backpack out to me with one finger. "Let's go."

I took the backpack from him and flung one strap over my shoulder. He turned and raced outside while I followed as quickly as I could in my slow, human movements. "How are we getting there?" I asked.

Joshua glanced over his shoulder and actually smiled. My heart accelerated and my palms began to tingle. Wow. "We're going to run."

"Ha. Yeah. Right."

Without another word his cold hand enclosed around my wrist and he gently pulled me onto his back in one swift motion. Then we _were_ running and I could barely even breathe.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or its characters. They are the work of literary genius Stephenie Meyer.**

I had never moved so fast in all my life. Not that it was me running exactly, but it was exhilarating almost the way he was able to move so quickly with assurance and without seemingly making a sound. He raced through the forest and I could see the trees flying past me and although I knew that logically we should be hitting them, he slipped past each one as though it were only a bothersome fly. I clung to his back, keeping my legs wrapped in a choke hold around his waist. I wasn't completely sure that the backpack Joshua had made me bring along was still intact on my shoulder, but I wasn't in a situation where I could check.

Almost as quickly as the running began, it stopped and a wave of nausea rippled through me. That too subsided enough for me to realize we were in the same clearing Jacob Black had brought me to, with the same imposing, yet beautiful white house.

Joshua let me slide off of his back before turning to me with concerned eyes. "Are you all right?"

"You're a really paranoid vampire, aren't you?" I asked.

He raised his eyebrows and a slight smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. "Practical, really. Not paranoid." He held out his hand to my surprise. I took it, feeling the coldness seep into my skin and halfway up my own arm, but I just clung tighter.

Joshua walked forward, pulling me along after him. I felt my heart being to beat harder and louder as we neared the front door. This vampire was one story, but a house full of them? Impossible. There wasn't any way I was going to be able to do this. I felt my breathing coming out faster and more ragged. Joshua turned suddenly.

"Shh…" He whispered in that soothing musical tone of his as he ran one cold hand down my cheek. "No one will hurt you here. I brought you here to be safe, Elena. I would never let anything dangerous get to you."

I nodded and worked on controlling my breathing. Joshua began to move forward again and before I had even gained a grip on myself we were inside the house. It was larger on the inside then it had looked on the outside, but I could hardly pay attention to my surroundings. There were four of them in this room alone, and I could barely concentrate on anything else but the fear rising in my throat.

"Josh…" I said in a strangled whisper.

He squeezed my hand reassuringly. One vampire flitted forward as graceful as a ballet dancer. She had dark spiky hair, her skin as white as Joshua's, her face as beautiful as I imagined an angel's to be. Were all vampire's weirdly beautiful? Where was the justice in the world?

"Hello, Elena." She said in a musical singsong voice. "I've been waiting for you to get here."

I gaped. "W-waiting?" I asked.

She nodded, suddenly serious. "Yes."

Joshua turned to me with a smile. I was dazed by it for a moment. "This is Alice Cullen."

Alice patted my shoulder pityingly and I forced myself not to flinch away from her touch.

"That-" Joshua waved one arm at the other three sitting in various positions on the couches and floor, "is Bella Cullen and her husband Edward and Esme Cullen." The vampire I had seen before waved, a sheepish expression on her face. Her husband—Edward was it?—was at my side in a flash.

"Josh has told you that you don't have anything to fear from us. You don't believe him." Edward said. It was a statement, not a question and I was confused at how to answer.

"Edward can…"Joshua floundered over the words and I glanced up into his eyes questioningly.

"Read minds." A voice finished behind us. I turned suddenly to see Jacob Black grinning at us from the foot of the stairs. "It gets rather irritating most of the time." I couldn't understand why this human was always here, with vampires. Whether they hunted humans or not, most humans shied away from vampires. Accept for me with Joshua. He just wasn't like all the others.

"Read minds?" I asked in complete disbelief. Right, first vampires and now reading minds? Either they were crazy or I was.

"Yes, Elena." Joshua said. "Some of us have extra talents. Not all, but some. Edward reads minds, Alice can see the future, Bella is sort of like a—"

"Human shield?" Jacob interrupted.

I watched Bella glare at Jacob, before smiling kindly at me.

"Jasper can control emotions, calm you down or make you very angry." Joshua continued. "And Renesmee…well she's something else."

Every single person in the room smiled at the name and I looked around searching for this mysterious Renesmee. "Who is Renesmee?" I asked finally.

"She's my daughter." Bella stated proudly, tossing her chocolate brown hair over her shoulder in what looked like a perfect imitation of a model.

"Daughter?" I asked looking at Joshua. Vampire's could have daughters?

"oh, it's all far too much to explain _now_." Alice jumped in, waving her hand. "We have more important things to discuss."

"Yes," Edward nodded thoughtfully. "Elena is still wondering why she even has to be here."

Wow. That was going to get annoying.

"Can we get some privacy please?" Alice announced to the spectators.

Joshua let go of my hand and wound one arm around my waist. I heard a slight growl emanate from deep in his chest.

Alice glowered at him menacingly. "Oh, calm down Josh. I wasn't talking about you. Get a grip. Don't pull an Edward."

Edward, who had placed his hand into Bella's and was starting to walk from the room turned and hissed before the two of them darted out, Jacob after them. I felt Joshua relax his hold on me, but he didn't pull his arm away. It felt nice there around me, I felt safe. It hadn't exactly hit me yet that something sinister was stalking me, probably hoping to end my life. Right now, all I could concentrate on was how is arm felt around my waist and how _good _he smelled. It was unbelievable.

"Elena." Alice snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Pay attention please." She flitted over to the couch quickly and sat cross legged. "I've seen something coming for you."

"Why?" I blurted.

A blank expression crossed over Alice's face. "What do you mean why?"

"Well, I know you see the future and all that. But why would you see mine? You don't even know me." I pointed out.

Alice glanced at Joshua quickly, before her gold eyes again fastened on me. "I…would rather not get into that."

A vampire secret. That involved me. That's great, just what every girl wishes for. "I rather you would." I replied timidly. I didn't need an angry vampire on my hands too.

Joshua squeezed my waist. "I'll tell you. Later." He whispered in my ear. The scent of him filled my nostrils when he breathed and suddenly I couldn't exactly remember what I had been asking in the first place.

"Moving on." Alice chimed. "We thought the best route would be to bring you here. Not only can Joshua keep you safe, but all of us can. All of us Cullens."

I nodded. " Okay. I get that. But what is coming for me in the first place?"

Alice's expression changed completely at this question. It was almost as though she expected it, but had been trying to avoid answering it. She looked down at the floor quickly. "I don't…I don't know his name exactly. The visions don't tell me that."

_His _name. I hadn't really paid enough attention recently to realize both Alice and Joshua kept saying him. Fear tightened my stomach. "What does he look like?" I whispered.

Alice thought about it for a moment. "Blond. Angelic looking, the way most vampire's are." She shrugged. "He isn't like us, Elena. In my visions his eyes are red."

Joshua's arm tightened around me again and a slight hiss rose up from his throat. I ignored him. I just kept hearing the words _blond_ and _his eyes are red. _"Aaron." I whispered, my voice sounding strangled. I thought he was gone, forever. He had said he wasn't coming back. Not after the first time when he had almost killed me in a fit of blood lust. Now he was go

ing to kill me. Not Aaron. Not my beautiful brother who had been everything to me since the day of our birth. My heart seized and I fell forward gripping my chest as a sob rumbled out my throat.

"Elena?" Joshua asked, shaking me slightly. His voice was panicked._ "_Elena, please, what is it?" he pleaded in my ear.

"Aaron…" I whispered again.

"Aaron?" Joshua asked wildly. "Alice what is the matter? I don't…"

"She knows him, Joshua." Alice said softly. "She knows who is coming for her."

I dropped to the floor and rolled over on my side, letting the misery consume me. I prayed it would kill me before Aaron could.


	5. Chapter 5

_Song of the Chapter: __Breathe (2 AM)- Anna Nalick_

The fear was consuming me, falling over me like a black wave and I was fighting to make it to the surface, but there was no end in sight. It wasn't necessarily the fear of death that had paralyzed me here; death was a part of life and you could either accept it or be afraid. It was more who was coming at all to cause my death. Aaron, my twin, my brother, my best friend, my _life. _I had thought losing him was the worst thing I could ever experience. But it was nothing compared to knowing that he didn't love me anymore; to knowing that he hated me enough to take away from me the only thing I had now; my life.

I could feel Joshua's panic emanating from his every movement. He was pleading and whispering my ear and between the smell of his breathe and the ring in his tone, I should have felt safe. But the despair just rose up over me again until I felt like I was choking. Aaron's face drifted in front of my vision, human, blond and smiling, blue eyes filled with laughter as he pulled me by the hand closer and closer to the sparkling ocean. _No one got anywhere being afraid, Elena. _A groaning keen split the air and startled me. It took me a moment to realize it was from my lips.

"Stop this, please, stop this." Joshua was whispering. "I won't allow anything to hurt you…nothing Elena…nothing will touch you."

I continued to crumple up into myself, fighting to drown out Joshua's promises. Didn't he know not to make promises that he couldn't keep? How could he promise that nothing would hurt me when all he could stop was the physical pain? No amount of physical pain Aaron could inflict upon me was ever going to compare to the fire burning through me at this moment.

"Perhaps…we should get Bella?" I heard Alice suggest warily.

"Bella?" Joshua hissed. "What could that possibly do?"

"Well, she was human only a short time ago." Alice snorted. "And her life was in danger every time she turned a corner."

Why couldn't they just leave me alone? Letting the misery have me had to be better than Aaron's cold red eyes being the last thing I saw.

"Elena…"

I jolt went through me at the misery in his voice. It was perfectly all right for me to feel this way, but for him to be in pain was unspeakable. I forced myself into a sitting position, but continued to hide my face with my curtain of long hair. "What are we going to do?" I asked. My voice was dead, and the sound of it scared even myself.

Joshua brushed one hand on my hair. "We're going to wait. And when they come, we're going to protect you." I finally looked up at him long enough to see the pain and anger reflecting out of his eyes.

"They?" I asked, my voice still dead.

Joshua grimaced. "He is not coming alone."

I groaned and buried my face in my hands.

"Elena, this is what we're built for. We can fight. We can save you from him." Joshua said, pulling my hands from my face.

I pulled away and finally stood, wobbling slightly. "It doesn't matter what your _built _for!" I hissed at him. "This is my brother! Do you think I want him to die anymore then I want to live?"

Joshua's mouth fell open, and a part of me was shocked that I had actually been able to surprise him. I thought he knew everything, and if not him then Alice sure as hell did. "Your brother?"

"Yes. Aaron. He's my twin."

Joshua thought over this for a moment, before he scooped me up into his arms, and suddenly we were moving. Fast. It all happened far too quickly for me to react and before I knew it we were upstairs, alone. This room was large, with one couch pushed into a far corner, a coffee table in front of that and books spread across every inch of the carpet surface.

"What is this?" I asked, sweeping one arm around indicating the room.

"It is the room the Cullen's have given me to use while I stay with them." Joshua replied, gracefully moving toward the couch.

Suddenly curiosity overwhelmed me, distracting me for a moment from my own impending doom. "You're not a Cullen." I almost slapped myself in the forehead for stating the obvious. He probably thought I was just like any other stupid human.

He smiled. "No, I'm not. I have, however, known Carlisle since I was a newborn."

I sat down on the floor cross legged and eyed him questioningly. "Carlisle?"

"Carlisle Cullen. I forgot you haven't met him yet. He is the creator, the head, the father of the Cullen Clan." Joshua leaned back onto the cushions.

I nodded. I forced myself to ask the question that had been burning in my throat from the moment he had shown up in my living room. "Joshua…how old are you?"

"Nineteen." He answered immediately, before smiling sheepishly at me. "Well technically I am nineteen. However, I've been nineteen for a very long time."

"How long?"

Joshua hesitated. I wondered if he was afraid to tell me the truth, or if he simply didn't want to. It was possible that he didn't trust me; it made sense after all. I was only human and he had known me for just a little over twenty four hours. I hadn't given him a reason to believe that I would keep his secrets.

As I thought that though a burning sensation began in my chest, spreading to my limbs. I recognized it as a need to protect his secrets. I would never tell a soul what he was because to cause him pain or stress was to cause it for myself. I couldn't understand how I felt that way when I had been so afraid of him before. Perhaps I didn't even know myself as well as I thought I had.

A troubled expression passed over his perfect features. I knew he was struggling with something and I hated myself for bringing this upon him. Why he and the Cullens thought it was their duty to protect me, I couldn't seem to grasp. I floundered over the question and still couldn't come to one single legitimate conclusion.

"I was nineteen years old when I was changed is what I should say." Joshua said finally, his voice only loud enough for my human ears to hear him. "I was changed in the year 1620, so I suppose I have been nineteen for quite awhile."

I refused to allow any shock to cross my face. I didn't want him to think I was afraid; and I wasn't. Just merely fascinated, knowing I was sitting in the same room as someone who had seen most of history unfold before his very eyes. I nodded quickly when his eyes flashed to mine.

"The person who created me had…her own reasons for doing so. I had no choice in it. I was young, impulsive, and just off the ship sailing from England to the New World." His voice suddenly turned bitter. "I didn't care for the religious freedom my own family sought; I cared for adventure and glory and land to call my own. I didn't care much for anything else."

He paused for only a second, but even in the slim amount of time I could detect the glimmer of pain that reverberated throughout his body. This was hard for him, but yet he was telling me anyway. I leaned forward, entranced.

"My creator…she was beautiful. The most beautiful creature I felt I had ever seen and although I feared her, I couldn't help but want her at the same time. By the time I was close enough to see the red color of her eyes, it was far too late."

"I didn't leave her side for the first ten years of my life." He sighed. "She was all I knew; I had never been able to return to my family, and I knew I never could. My return meant their lives were in great danger. But my years with her were not…satisfying. I was not happy. So I set out on my own. I realized quickly enough that animal blood could sustain me almost as fully as human blood and I have never reverted back since."

"Did you ever return to her?" I asked as a stab of jealousy went through me.

Joshua smiled tenderly. "No…no I have not seen her since. She was not very happy with me when I left her. I imagine she is still bitter. I still wonder on my own most of the time. However, the Cullens have been friends of mine since I originally met Carlisle when I was still an infant, at most. I have been staying with them for the past few months."

From his peaceful expression and small smile it was easy to see he liked it here. Forks could be his home. I shuddered. Forks didn't seem like home to me. It seemed like a town hell bent on destroying me. Plus, I hated the rain with a severe intensity. Suddenly, I remembered something Joshua had promised earlier.

"Josh, tell me why you and the Cullen family are helping me." I blurted.

He froze and remained still silently.

"You promised." I reminded him.

He glanced up then. "Yes, yes I suppose I did."


	6. Chapter 6

_Song of the Chapter: Love You to Death- Kill Hannah_

I leaned forward further, my eyes fastened upon his face. An almost embarrassed expression crossed his angelic features. Strange that he would ever be embarrassed. Vampire's seemed so far away from all those human feelings.

"I told you that some vampire's have talents. Some of us, well, most of us, do not have any talent at all. Its about one in fifty vampires will actually have a gift. Alice has one, as does Edward, Bella, Jasper, and Renesmee."

"Wow." I mouthed.

He smiled. "Yes, I know it is a lot of gifted vampire's under one roof. It is strange that there are so many collected into one coven. But anyway, back to what I was saying. I also have what other's would consider a—gift."

I felt my eyes widen, and then narrow. "You can't read my mind too, can you?" I asked suspiciously. I would be absolutely horrified if he could.

Joshua laughed softly. "No, Elena. I cannot do that. I…my gift is sort of subtle I would say."

A bubble of laughter sounded from down the hallway. I glanced over my shoulder at the door.

Joshua narrowed his eyes and growled softly. "Unecessary, Alice." He muttered.

"Not so subtle to everyone else?" I asked, waggling my eyebrows.

"No, no." he reassured me. "It is subtle. You see, I have what is called Power Mimicry or absorption."

I stared, completely confused.

"I am able to absorb the powers from those around me, and for a little while use them myself." Joshua explained.

"So, then you can read my mind." I stated.

Joshua's expression turned to one of apology. "Only if necessary, Elena. I can only absorb that power from Edward for a little while. I don't have a particular talent, I am just able to copy the much stronger powers around me."

I shrugged. "Still seems pretty cool to me. But what does your power have to do with me?"

His expression was earnest. "Everything, Elena. Absolutely everything. Whenever I take on Alice's power or another like hers as my own, I always see you. I have had the picture of your face in my mind for centuries. I could place every single feature upon your face before you were even born. I have never been able to see when it was that I would find you, but I could see how I met you for the first time, how afraid you would be. The first time I ever set foot upon First Beach I knew that was where I would find you. I recognized it from what I had seen in my own visions." He paused, his hand reaching for mine. Stunned, I immediately gave him what he searched for. "Your face has been in my mind since the first time I saw it when I was a newborn. I knew someday you would need me, and that I would need you. Even when I would close my eyes and try to see something else, I couldn't."

I was speechless. That was the only explanation. What do you say when someone as beautiful as Joshua Calvin tells you that he has been waiting for you, and only you, for _centuries_? I wanted to throw my arms around him and hold him, but a part of me couldn't bring myself to do that. I barely knew Joshua, but he seemed to know everything there was to know about me.

"Elena, say something?" Joshua asked, quietly. "I don't like to have to get inside someone else's mind. Not when I can control it and Edward can't. But your silence is driving me absolutely insane."

I smiled sheepishly. "It's a lot to take in. To grasp. You knew that Aaron was going to come for me, before we were even born?" I asked then.

Joshua grimaced. "No and yes. I knew someone would come for you. I didn't know it was your brother. How could I have known something like that?"

I nodded. I couldn't quite grasp this completely. It was all so confusing. Joshua, knowing me since the 1600's? It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense anymore. I felt a sudden wave of lethargia overtake me right at the moment that I felt Joshua lifting me from the floor. "Sleep, my Elena. We will have a lifetime for this. Sleep, now. I will be here by your side when you wake." I felt myself being laid upon the soft couch, and a blanket being spread over me as he gently removed my shoes. He began to hum softly to himself. I felt one cold hand brush along my cheek before I drifted off comfortably.

I woke abruptly, to the quavering of several birds and the sun illuminating my face. I was alone, but I realized it with a sudden relief. I needed time to think. So much had happened in the last two days that I felt as though my head were spinning.

First, I had to come to terms with the essence of my presence at the Cullen house. Aaron was coming for me, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. I was weak and human and it exasperated me. I had always been able to stand up for myself and now I was in a situation where there was no winning. I would have to stand behind Joshua and the other Cullens while they fought to protect me. It didn't seem fair.

Second, there was Joshua himself. I wasn't completely convinced that this was all real. He was a vampire; the one thing in the world I absolutely hated. Vampire's took Aaron away; vampire's changed him and made him hate me. But Joshua was different somehow. He had waited for _me_ alone for hundreds of years. That wasn't something a person could just ignore. I shifted in my place on the couch, burying my face into the pillow. I couldn't just leave him now. I didn't want to; but I wasn't sure if that was because I thought he couldn't take it, or I couldn't.

Third, my mom. She had to of come home from work and found me gone. I had never done anything so reckless before and I knew I was in for a some serious yelling. But I needed to call her. I owed Meredith enough to let her know I was safe.

I'm not sure if he heard me moving or if he just borrowed Alice's power and knew I was awake. I hoped he hadn't been reading my mind. Joshua was walking calmly, human-like up the stairs singing softly in a language I didn't recognize right away. "Réveillez-vous ma chérie." He sang, and I almost laughed. He was singing in French.

Joshua poked his head in the doorway, his touseled waves of black blinking in the sunlight, his smile lighting up his pale face. His eyes were a deeper gold then last night, to my surprise. I had thought they couldn't become anymore beautiful. It took me a moment to take my eyes off his features long enough to see that he was glowing like a thousand sparkling diamonds. I sucked in my breathe, intoxicated at the sight of it. "Whoa." I breathed.

"At least I didn't turn to dust." Joshua said lightly, springing from the doorway to land beside me on the couch. The couch barely recognized his landing there, shifting only the cushions the slightest bit. He seemed in almost an exhilarating mood, like everything in his world was completely right. I was glad he was able to feel that way.

"Joshua, I need to call my mom." I said, turning away from his sparkling skin so I could concentrate both on getting a phone and then talking to Meredith.

A cell phone was presented to me almost before I was finished with my sentence. "I figured you may need to talk to her." He said.

I took the phone suspiciously. Had he figured, or had he been reading my mind? I dialed my house number, and Meredith answered on the first ring. "Elena?"

"Yeah, mom it's me."

A sigh of relief. "This is the last straw, Elena. This is far beyond skipping school. You can't just take off whenever you want to."

"I know, mom. I'm sorry."

"Come home now. This is ridiculous. You're going to be grounded till your mid-thirties." She threatened.

I sighed and fiddled with the blanket, still wrapped around my legs. "I can't really come home right now. There are some things I need to do, first." Going home now would only bring Aaron's wrath down upon her.

"What do you mean you can't? Where are you?"

I fished for the right words, slapping Joshua's hand away when he began twirling my hair around his index finger. "Well, I just can't. Mom please, be reasonable."

"I am. I want to know where my seventeen year old daughter is."

"I'm at the Cullens." I finally blurted.

There was a long pause. I knew she knew who I was talking about; everyone knew Dr. Carlisle Cullen. His beauty was talked about throughout Forks. "Well, Elena. Is there a reason why you can't come home if you're only a few miles from home?"

"Alice is upset, mom. She needs me." I lied.

"Alice Cullen?" she asked. "Since when are you friends with Alice Cullen?"

I sighed. "Since now. So can I please stay until Monday at least?" I begged.

I heard Meredith shuffling around on the other line. "Okay. Fine. But you will go to school Monday, and you will come home afterwards. Understood?"

"Yes mom. Thank you." She muttered for a moment before saying goodbye. I only had until Monday. Would Aaron come for me by then? Would Meredith be safe?

Joshua stroked my cheek absentmindedly. "You have very warm skin." He noticed.

I laughed. "No, you just have very cold skin."

"True." He sighed. "Elena, You cannot go home on Monday." He said after a long pause that lasted nearly a minute. "We have no idea which day he will come for you and to leave you unprotected for a moment could mean everything."

I looked down at the floor and ran a hand through my hair. "I have to. Meredith knows where I am now. She'll come get me if I don't go home." I could see no wavering in his expression so I pressed on. "Don't be ridiculous, Joshua. I can't just never go home. I'm not an adult yet."

He visibly softened. "I understand that Elena, but…it seems like too much of a risk."

I shrugged. "Then come with me. Either way, I have to go home on Monday."

I heard Joshua growl softly in frustration, but I knew I had won. Out of nowhere his head whipped to the doorway, standing the moment the door flew open and Alice rushed in, Edward at her heels. "Josh." She choked.

He hissed menacingly. "No!"

I jumped off the couch, entirely confused but terrified in the same moment. "What? What is it?"


	7. Chapter 7

_Song of the Chapter: By Myself- Linkin Park_

Joshua was at Alice's side in an instant, his eyes boring into her face in an intense look I had never seen before. I took me a moment to realize he was seeing what he wanted to know in her mind. My eyes took in Alice's horrified expression, the stressed look on Edward's face, and Joshua's intense concentration and a shoot of fear slithered down my spine. Alice had seen something.

Joshua hissed suddenly, having gotten what he wanted from Alice and Edward's minds. "No. That isn't possible."

Alice shook her head. "It is what I've seen. It's the decision he has just made."

"What?" I asked. "What decision? Has Aaron decided something?"

Joshua's horrified expression flickered to me and suddenly he was pulling me into his chest and stroking my hair. His fingers were cold on my scalp but they made my entire body tingle. I sank further into his chest, feeling very safe in the midst of all the turmoil.

"Joshua, we have to figure out where we're going to go wrong." Edward said softly.

I shuddered. Go wrong? "What are you talking about?" I asked, pulling away from Joshua so I wouldn't be distracted.

"Elena, Alice saw why Aaron is coming here." Joshua said, his arm wiggling back around my waist. "He isn't coming to kill you as originally thought."

"O-kay." I said slowly. "So then what does he want?"

"He wants to change you." Edward responded, one eyebrow raised.

I swallowed loudly, feeling my heart pick up speed. I was sure every person in the room could hear it. "Change me." I said. I couldn't quite figure out what that meant exactly, but then I heard Joshua's voice in my head, _I was nineteen years old when I was changed…_ I gasped. "No."

Joshua's head fell forward in what looked like agony. I felt a sudden longing to reassure him, but there was nothing I could say. Aaron was going to make me a vampire. Change me into a cold, pale statue with glowing red eyes. My whole body shook for a moment. Would I even be myself anymore? Aaron wasn't. He was a monster.

Joshua must have been listening to my thoughts at that point because he hissed and pulled my face up until I was looking at him. "It isn't going to happen, Elena. No one is going to force you into this life. He won't touch you."

This did absolutely nothing to reassure me. "What else, Alice?" I asked.

She glanced up at me startled, but she must have understood almost immediately because she answered, "He isn't coming alone. But that is only for us, to distract us."

I ignored Joshua's tightening grip on my waist and tried to pull away from him. "He knows that you guys will try to help me then?"

"Yes." Alice nodded. "I don't know how he knows. We have never even met this Aaron of yours. I have absolutely no idea who could have changed him. He is a bloodthirsty newborn though, so I doubt he intends to change you himself."

I nodded thoughtfully. "Aaron will come for me himself though. I know he will. The others will distract you and he'll take me to whoever he wants to change me."

Edward made a small sound of approval. "You know your brother well."

"He's my twin. Of course I know him."

"We have to get her to safety." Joshua said, flitting to the corner where my backpack rested. "She cannot stay here if he knows that she is here."

A blond vampire who had the looks of a brooding movie star sidled into the room. "Joshua, don't you think you're the tiniest bit prone to overreaction? No newborn could ever get past all of us. And we have the wolves on our side."

I stared in confusion. I had never met this vampire before, but the minute he entered the room a wave of calm spread over me. Then the word _wolves_ registered. "Wait, you have wolves on your side?" I demanded.

The blond vampire smiled wickedly. "Yes. We have many things on our side that this newborn will know nothing about. "He turned on Joshua. "You didn't tell her? About the packs?"

Joshua was still rummaging through my pack, making sure I had everything I needed for a sudden departure. He waved his hand absently. "Minor details, Jasper. Minor details."

"No." I said, stamping my foot in frustration. "Not minor details. This is _my_ life we're talking about here. You can't just keep things from me. I want to help."

Edward chuckled softly. "You will be more of hindrance then a help, Elena. But I agree that you have a right to know about everything. Jasper is talking about the La Push packs; shapeshifters; werewolves if you will. You have already met the Alpha of one pack, Jacob Black."

I stared at him dumbfounded. Bloodthirsty vampires? No problem. But werewolves? This little fairy tale was getting ridiculous. "Werewolves?" I said doubtfully.

"Ten all together. Broken into two packs. They are our allies." Alice said, wrinkling her nose for a reason I couldn't understand.

"Okay, yeah, that's fine." I stammered. I heard Edward in the corner smothering laughter.

"Josh, would you stop packing her things? We have nowhere else to take her." Alice snapped. Joshua growled in response, but listened and immediately set my backpack on the floor.

The vampire named Jasper moved to my side, calming me completely. I vaguely remembered Joshua saying that Jasper was talented too; he had never told me what exactly Jasper could do, but maybe it had to do with the fact that I couldn't feel worried or afraid when I was around him. My sudden lethargy from the night before was probably just Joshua doing his power absorption thing with Jasper's gift.

"We will protect you." Jasper told me, his gold eyes shrouded in complete seriousness.

I knew that. Of course I knew that. But that didn't necessarily mean they would win. If Alice was seeing me being changed then something was going to go wrong somewhere and I was going to end up a vampire. My life would be gone and my humanity. I would be like Aaron, a monster.

"What are we going to do?" I asked. We had to have a plan right? We couldn't fail. I didn't want us to fail, failing meant my life and possibly theirs. I swallowed loudly. "I can't just let all of you get hurt because of me." To my surprise and chagrin, all of them laughed; except Joshua who was still in the corner brooding sulkily.

"Elena, we're going to be fine." Edward said. "It's you that we're worried about."

"Why is that anyway? I mean, I know Joshua has his reasons for wanting to save me, but what does that mean to any of you? Wouldn't it be easier for all of you to just let me die?" I asked.

Joshua hissed. Everyone ignored him. "No that wouldn't be easier. We stand by our friends. We're not like other covens. We will stand by Josh, therefore we will stand by you." Alice said firmly.

Edward's eyes suddenly flashed to the door. "I have to go." He stated. "Renesmee is awake." With that he flitted out of the room faster than I could see.

I felt a cool hand on my cheek and without turning I knew Joshua had come to stand at my side. "We will keep you safe." He vowed. I smiled up at him absently. I trusted him to think that; however, I wasn't sure that it was possible. I would take whatever was handed me, though I very much hoped it wouldn't be immortality.

Alice's face went blank. Jasper rushed to her side and took her hand in his own. "We need some time, Josh." He said before guiding her from the room.

I threw my hands up in frustration. "But we need a plan here!"

"No, Elena. _You _do not need any plan. You're not going to be involved in this." Joshua retorted.

I glared at him. "Says you. I'm not just going to stand by and let the chips fall where they may."

"Yes, that is exactly what you will do."

"You're rather bossy, you know that?" I asked, hands on my hips. Knowing me for hundreds of years or not, he couldn't just tell me what to do all the time. Then I was in his arms and he was holding me like I was a lifeline. A heartbroken sigh shuddered through his body, his hands tightening around me.

"Elena…" he whispered. "I cannot lose you so soon after finding you. Please…"

"Josh." I whispered back. "I can't just let Aaron change me. I don't…I don't want this. Immortality. I don't want to be a monster."

His eyes were boring into mine when he looked down. Anguish flooded their depths turning the gold into an almost liquid. That look squeezed my heart painfully. I couldn't see him this way. I placed my hands on either side of his face. "I won't leave you if I can help it. You're everything to me now."

He trembled. "I cannot lose you." He repeated, looking at me like a starving man before his crushed his lips to my own.


	8. Chapter 8

_Song of the Chapter: What If We Could- Blue October_

I don't know when I fell in love with him. I don't even know how I could, considering what he was. But he was so different, so kind. A part of me wanted to believe that he had always seen me because we were meant to be together. But I didn't believe in the soulmate theory, and in just a few days, I could either be dead or changed.

I refused to allow the thought that if I were changed I could stay with Joshua forever cross my mind; immortality was not something I wanted. I wasn't like Aaron; I didn't fear death. Death seemed like almost a relief after what I had gone through in the last few days.

"You're not going to die, Elena." Joshua hissed.

I placed my hands on his chest and pushed with all the strength I had. It wasn't nearly enough, but Joshua let me go. "Stay out of my head." I hissed back at him. Words couldn't describe how much I hated that. I had never had to worry about someone getting inside my mind before and now I had to worry about Edward _and _Joshua. I moved towards the glass window that was the size of an entire wall, and glanced out into the meadow, eyeing the forest. Aaron was going to come for me. Would he come here? Would I have the strength to meet him, so that the Cullens and Joshua had that slightest chance for survival? Surely not all of them would die for me.

I noticed the way the sun dazzled off the dew drops in the grass, sparkling like diamonds, but they weren't half as beautiful as my Joshua in the sun. The wind…how could you describe the wind? The way is grazed over your skin like a dozen butterflies kissing in a line up the surface. I—felt things—more these days. Something about my time with Joshua had opened me up to things. To their sensuality, their immediacy. Maybe that was why I felt like I had changed.

Or maybe I had always been different. Because I had been chosen. Joshua had chosen me, fallen in love with me, had watched over me before I had ever been alive.

"Elena." Joshua whispered my name like a starving man.

I turned from the window. "Let's get out of here."

"What?" He was staying out of my head, like I had asked.

I smiled. "Let's go somewhere. It doesn't have to be all doom and gloom, Joshua."

You could tell that he was terrified. It showed in every feature, every stride he took. Agony seemed to ripple throughout his muscles until he had to fight to preserve the calm look attached to his face. It was nearly unbearable to watch.

"Joshua." I stretched out my fingers, searching, and he was there in seconds cradling my hand in his own. We were on First Beach again, staring out in the waves that had turned into a murky blue in the sunshine. I was bundled up into Joshua's large green coat, his smell still clinging to the surface. Although the sun was shining, it was cold, as it almost always was in Forks.

Joshua sat beside me on the sand and ran my fingers up and down his cold cheek.

"How long do we have? " I asked.

"Hmm…" he opened his eyes and brought my hand back down to his lap. "Here? As long as you want, Elena."

I chewed my lower lip. I knew saying this was going to anger him; but I suspected there were things he was keeping from me. "No, I mean—how long do we have before _he _is here."

I felt Joshua stiffen and hiss in a breathe. "He won't touch you, Elena."

"That isn't what I was asking. I want to know how long we have."

Joshua clung to my hand tighter for a moment, his expression showing an internal war. He fought over what he wanted to do and what he should do before his shoulders hunched in defeat. "Tomorrow. Alice see's him coming tomorrow."

My heart was pounding in my chest painfully. I held my breath for a moment to keep myself from screaming. Joshua could already hear my heart, he didn't have to know just how bad off I was right now. I fought to gain control, not allowing my hands to clench into fists as they wanted. No other sign from me would show Joshua what was happening to me now. Finally I let out a long breath, the urge to scream and run, anywhere, was gone. I clasped his hand tighter. I felt so much safer with him here. "Shouldn't we have a plan, then?" I asked in what I hoped was my calm voice. I thought I heard a hint of hysteria to it, but I wasn't sure.

"You're not going to be a part of this." Joshua snarled, his eyes nearly turning black. He let out a long breath. "I will not leave you in danger. They will all die."

Fear rattled my body. _No!_ I shouted in my head. I didn't want to see my brother, I didn't want him to change me, but I didn't want him to die. To be gone from this planet, from me, permanently. He was my twin; for him to die was to kill a part of me. But how could he live? He would never stop trying to get to me, never leave me alone. Was killing him the only way? I shuddered.

"Elena." Joshua turned my head to him, gazing into my eyes with a look of adoration I had never seen on anyone's face before; at least not while looking at me. "I will not let him destroy you. I couldn't—bear to see someone hurt you." He looked uncertain for moment before pressing his lips softly to my own. I still wasn't quite over how kissing him felt. Almost like falling into heaven and hell at the same time. I loved the feel of his cold lips touching mine, it sent electrical currents pulsing through my entire body, but it also made me want more; so much more. I sighed and leaned against him.

"I love you, Joshua."

"I couldn't live without you." He answered, kissing me softly again.

We sat on the beach for what seemed like hours, arms wrapped around each other, never taking our eyes off the other. It was like we only had certain amount of time together and we didn't want to waste a second. It didn't seem fair that I should lose him so quickly after finding him, but I could comfort myself in the idea that he would live. Somewhere he would be alive. That would have to be enough.

Finally, Joshua pulled away from me, raising both hands to my face. "It is getting cold. I don't want you to freeze." He smiled wryly.

"Oh well, I guess that's what humans do. Be weak and all that." I said lightly, jumping to my feet. He ran with me on his back again, my head leaning in-between his shoulder blades. He was cold, but he warmed me at the same time. It would be unbearable to be parted from him now.

We were at the Cullen house quickly, me sliding off his back and taking his hand as we walked to the porch. I was so lost in how wonderful this day had been, and how wonderful he was. Surely this memory would be able to carry me to my death, or worse, without a slight grievance. I almost didn't notice Jacob Black come tearing from the house, his body quivering. My mouth snapped open.

Jacob's entire body was shaking, convulsing almost. He dove off the porch and landed on the ground below as a wolf. It happened so quickly that I barely had a chance to react to it. Joshua pushed me behind him as Jacob, a russet colored wolf the size of a garage, it seemed, let out a long howl before bursting through the trees and disappearing.

I remembered that Jacob was a werewolf and that there were others, but somehow I had been able to push that thought from my mind all day. Now, to see it, witness it firsthand, made it impossible to ignore. I walked around Joshua to look at him and ask him some serious questions about what had just happened, but his face stopped me. It was the single most menacing look I had ever seen. It was the look of a vampire that wanted to kill. I froze, terrified.

He hissed, a long guttural sound that made my bones quiver. He reached for me, throwing me onto his back again as he raced into the house. I clung to him, completely confused. Most of the Cullens were waiting for us in the living room. Joshua slid me off his back, but didn't release me.

Edward's eyes were flashing to Bella's face and the child in her arms. I almost gasped. The little thing was probably the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. This must be Renesmee. She had long bronze ringlets, the same color of Edward's, but her eyes were a deep chocolate brown. She clung to Bella, but her eyes were intelligent and surveying the activity in the room with interest. The brown eyes proved she wasn't a vampire; or at least not a full one. I was fascinated by her.

"How, Alice!" Joshua roared. "How did they get past you?"

Alice winced. "I don't know, Josh. I don't…understand."

"We have to get ready. Be prepared." Carlisle said firmly.

"Renesmee!" I heared Bella gasp, her arms tightening around her daughter.

Edward flew to her side. "Bella, love, Jacob will take her. We have talked about it. Renesmee will be safe; they are not after her."

Bella nodded, and then flew from the house with the child in her arms. I figured she was going to find Jacob.

"What do we have to be prepared for?" I asked stupidly.

Joshua's panicked eyes turned to me, his mouth opening in what looked like a silent scream. "They're here." He whispered.

I had never known terror before this moment. Had never known an ounce of fear. I looked wildly about the room at my protectors, scared for them, myself, and most of all, my Joshua. How could I lose him? How would he survive losing me? I took in everything around me, drinking it in like a thirsty man. This would either be the last time I saw these rooms and these faces at all, or it would be the last time I saw them with human eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

_Song of the Chapter: Time is Running Out- Muse_

I wracked my brain trying to find some way to get away from him. If I could find Aaron first maybe I could prevent a fight from having ever happened. I may be young and weak and human, but I could do that much. I could stop Aaron from hurting the one person in the world I loved more than anything.

Everyone was flitting about the room, but not in a panicked state as you would think. It was more in a way of organization. Alice was whispering to Jasper, Edward had fled out the door after Bella, Esme was off to the side, her face twisted in a grimace. I could tell she and Carlisle wished they didn't have to do this; didn't have to fight. That was fine. If I could do anything about it they wouldn't.

"They're coming here." Alice chimed in her high soprano voice. "There are only six of them. Four are newborns, but the other two…experienced vampires. Experienced fighters."

"Edward and I will take them." Jasper said excitedly. "Alice, you, Rosalie, and Esme will take the others. Some of the pack will join us too, won't they?" he asked.

I saw Alice nod. "Yes, the vision disappears before they reach here. The pack will intercept them."

I cringed. I didn't even know the La Push packs, and they were going to fight for me too. I tried to keep my mind off of Joshua. If I thought of him too much, it would only make what I had to do that much harder.

"What will we do with Elena?" Esme asked.

"Hide her." Alice said simply.

Joshua was at my side then. "Where? Where could we possibly conceal her?"

"Here." Alice replied. "The vampires won't reach here. I don't see how she couldn't be safe."

Leave me here? But then I wouldn't know how to reach Aaron. What If they killed him? "I don't want to stay here." I said.

They barely even glanced in my direction. "Well, you're not coming to the fight." Alice waved her hand in exasperation. "No, take her upstairs Joshua. You may stay here, if you wish."

Joshua snarled. "I want to make sure they are dead myself." Then he glanced down at me. "But how can we leave her here, unprotected?"

"I'll stay." Esme volunteered, smiling at me tenderly. I sighed in relief. At least beautiful, kind Esme would be out of the fight.

Joshua nodded and then turned to pull me into his arms. He buried his face into my hair and breathed in my scent deeply. "I will protect you." He vowed. "I will make it safe for you."

"And I get to sit around and do nothing." I muttered, trying not to let his hands running down my back distract me.

He placed both hands on each side of my face. "You keep your heart beating, Elena. I couldn't live without the sound." I wasn't sure if he meant stay alive or don't let him change you. Either way, I was going to break one of those promises. There was nothing I could do to stop that. He pressed his cold lips to mine, soft, tiny kisses and long ones that turned wild. I clung to him, breathing him in, and quickly memorizing everything about him.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I'll always love you." I answered. Then he was gone. They were all gone except for Esme.

"They will keep you safe." Esme reassured me. I nodded and sank down on the sofa. I had to find a way to get away from Esme. I just had to. I was momentarily glad that they had left me with an ungifted vampire. No having to worry about Esme reading my thoughts, or forseeing my decisions.

I would have to be careful to make a sudden one, so Alice wouldn't have the time to send Joshua to stop me. I waited until Esme was flitting around the house, cleaning and doing odd jobs the way any mother figure would do. It was strange; too normal.

Once Esme was upstairs I made my decision quickly. It wasn't going to work. Not a chance, but I knew I had to try. Esme would catch me in seconds, she being superhuman and fast and me being mortal and slow. But I had to try. I burst out the front door at full speed, pushing myself to run faster. I stretched my legs into the longest strides I could manage, reaching the trees faster than I thought I would. I heard the faint sound of being pursued but I ignored it, driving myself into a faster run.

As I ran I let Joshua's face flash through my mind. His dark silken curls, his pale perfect face. His deep gold eyes that looked at me with such want and love that it nearly broke my heart. I imagined us at First Beach, the way we were only hours ago. His fingers lacing through my fingers, his lips pressing into my own, dragging me into the only heaven I had ever known. I would memorize this, I would remember him as I went under. He was the last face I cared about seeing anyway.

The footsteps behind me were closer now. Weird, I thought Esme would have come for me before now. Had Alice seen me run? Was Joshua on his way to me now? Was Aaron dead already? I shook my head as my breathing came out more ragged. Damn it. I was getting tired. I wouldn't be able to run for much longer. The forest was getting thicker, more roots and branches sticking out in perilous angles trying to sabotage me.

The running was directly behind me now. Why didn't Esme just grab me if she was so close? I thought of stopping, but decided to use my last burst of strength to carry me as far into the trees as I could manage.

Then I heard the snarl. It was menacing and evil and it sounded like nothing that would come from Esme's lips. I froze, my heart fluttering in my chest.

One single laugh and that was all it took. I recognized it. Of course. Aaron knew me better than anyone else in the world; for someone that couldn't read my mind that is. I turned, already knowing what I would see. I had heard that laugh in my nightmares. Nothing like the ringing laugh that had been my brother's when he was human; a dangerous laugh, an perfect, high laugh as beautiful as any of the Cullen's, but frightening.

He looked the same as the first time I had seen him as a vampire. I had expected that, vampires didn't change. His hair was the same honey blond that looked like the rising sun. He was pale, but the dark marks under his eyes less pronounced. He wasn't as thirsty as he had been the first time. He was beautiful, every bit as spectacular as he had been in life. The only difference was that in place of his warm green human eyes, were the shining red iris's that had haunted me for months.

"Elena." He smiled, speaking my name in his beautiful voice that sounded like singing. In life he had been my brother, my twin, my sun. He still looked like the sun, but he was blacker now. A black sun rising into my existence to tear me away from everything I held dear.

"Aaron." I breathed.

He took a step forward. "You were looking for me."

I grimaced. "No, you were looking for me. You've been planning to come."

He laughed again. "Yes, that's true, I suppose." Aaron's expression softened slightly, to my surprise. "Elena, I need to apologize…for the way I acted the last time you saw me. I was young, new, blood thirsty. It won't happen again."

I stared at him dumbfounded. Maybe Alice was wrong. Maybe Aaron had never had any intention to hurt me. "But…you were coming for me." I said, softly.

"I miss you, Elena." Aaron said in a pleading voice. "You're my best friend."

I sighed in relief. "I miss you, too, Aaron."

He flashed to my side and I flinched. "I'm not here to hurt you. I…I want you to join me."

That stopped me. Alice wasn't wrong, _I _was. He did want to change me, and I had walked right into it. I prayed he would kill me instead. I didn't want to be like him, frozen and cruel. "No." I said.

"Elena, you don't understand. You could be like a god. You wouldn't have to worry about seeming weak and human next to _him._" Aaron was talking in a consoling, hypnotizing voice. I almost winced at my own thoughts almost completely being repeated back to me. He knew me too well, knew exactly what to say.

"I…I don't want to be a monster. I don't want this." I pleaded.

Aaron's expression transferred into one of astonishment. "You don't want this? How? Why would you want to die, Elena? Why choose to remain the prey when you could be the huntress?"

I couldn't believe he was phrasing it that way. He was talking like he were a jungle cat and humans nothing more than a meal. Didn't life mean more to him than that? I was shaking now, waiting for the inevitability. I didn't think he was going to give me much choice in this. If he was, why would he bring reinforcements? "I don't want to kill people, Aaron. I know the way you're doing things and there's another way. You don't have to hurt people anymore; you can still be a person."

He began laughing, a big booming laugh that I was sure Joshua would be able to hear, wherever he was. My heart squeezed. I hoped he was okay. I couldn't imagine a world where he didn't exist, anymore.

"Elena," he began through his laughter, "why should I stop myself from my instincts? It has nothing to do with human life. It's just predator and prey. We're just higher up on the food chain, that's all."

I was shaking visibly now. "You can't mean that. You're saying that I'm just you're prey, you're food? And what about mom? Meredith? Is she nothing but something for you to eat?" I was shouting now, though I knew I shouldn't.

I had shaken him though. His features were an angelic mask that I couldn't decipher. "Meredith was never much of a mother anyway." He said, his red eyes hardening. "And you won't be anyone's prey soon. You'll be like me; strong, fast, unstoppable, _immortal._"

I shrank back, trying to think of some way to stop this, to get away. I was much more afraid than I thought I would be when this moment came.

Aaron shifted into a cat like, predator stance; a crouch. His eyes were blazing, a wicked smile spreading across his face. He looked like a panther, all grace and assuredness. With one long drawn out, terrifying hiss, he launched himself at me.


	10. Chapter 10

_Song of the Chapter: Knife Party- Deftones_

I closed my eyes and prepared myself for Aaron launching himself at me. They were wrong. He is going to change me himself. I let Joshua's face take over my consciousness, the touch of his fingers so real it was like he was really there.

"This will hurt a little." Aaron whispered.

I clenched my muscles, waiting. Joshua was whispering I love you's to me now, and I smiled despite myself. This was what I wanted; his face to be the last human memory I had. Soon I would be like him, but not really. I would be devilish, blood thirsty. Who would I kill once I was changed? Meredith? Jacob? I shuddered. Renesmee? Would I even be able to stop myself from hurting innocents? A part of me wondered if I would even care anymore.

I could see us, Aaron and I, separated not even in death. Both of us deathly pale and consummately beautiful, like angels of death. We were holding hands, and smiling wickedly, our eyes blood red. I shivered.

I concentrated on Joshua again. I could feel him next me, as though, even in this, we could not be separated. I felt his cold hand in my own, and I couldn't help but smile in delight. I loved the feel of his cold skin on mine, it sent electric currents through my entire body. "Elena…" the whisper was so like his voice that I almost fell to the ground in a state of relief. I would remember him exactly as I should until the pain and the darkness consumed me. What would it be like? For some reason I thought it would be like burning alive.

"Elena, move!"

My eyes snapped open in surprise. I wouldn't have imagined that. I looked around wildly. Joshua was next me as I had thought, his jaguar look in place over his features. He growled menacingly, and I back away despite what I wanted.

Aaron was still in his crouch, his eyes widened when he saw Joshua. He was afraid. I could see that much. Joshua wasn't a newborn, he had been a vampire for over three hundred years. Aaron knew that he would lose this fight. There wasn't any way he could win.

I continued to back up until my back hit a tree. I place my arms behind me, wrapping around the moss covered trunk in desperation. I wasn't sure who I feared for the most; my brother or the man I was in love with. I couldn't stand to lose either of them. I whimpered quietly.

Joshua sank further into a crouch in a movement so fluid and graceful that he actually resembled a jungle cat now. Aaron was still caught off guard, staring in disbelief. He seemed to collect himself in seconds and to my surprise and horror, he smiled.

"Please…" I whispered, reaching out my hand. I knew that smile. Aaron must have something on his side that no one had counted on, because he was no longer afraid. My brother would have turned and run if he thought he was going to lose.

"Calvin." Aaron laughed in his high, musical voice.

Joshua snarled in response. "You won't touch her."

Aaron laughed again, before turning his face to one of deep concentration. I gasped when I realized he was collected some sort of power to himself. I could see it in his muscles, the bunching, as he concentrated.

I didn't see where the ice came from. I could have sworn in was flowing from my brother's fingertips, but that was impossible. Vampire's didn't have _those _kinds of gifts. No one did. That was something I had counted on being fairy tales. But still the ice surged forward, leaving Joshua only a second to get away from it. He sprang into the air, his body twirling like a dancer in mid air before he landed nimbly on the other side of the ice shards.

"Aaron, stop." I called. He had this kind of talent. How could Joshua's possibly compare? He was going to kill my Joshua.

Aaron's red eyes barely even flickered in my direction to acknowledge what I said. He simply smiled again, bunching up the power in his muscles. Joshua feinted to the side so quickly he was only a blur. I saw him race for my brother, only to have Aaron sidestep him just as quickly.

I didn't want to watch this, I kept trying to divert my eyes, telling myself that to watch either of them die was going to be unbearable, but I couldn't. I couldn't tear my eyes away from this agile dance they were constructing, this dance of death. Aaron sent the ice at Joshua again, but again Joshua was too fast. I realized then that Joshua was absorbing Alice's power into himself and he knew what moves my brother would make before he made them.

Aaron's eyes were cat like and he let out a low growl, a warning. "She's mine." He hissed.

Joshua's face contorted in a mask of fury. "No. She was mine long before you existed."

This couldn't be happening. Just few months ago Aaron and I had been normal teenagers. Sure, I hated Forks and the rain while Aaron had loved the wet greenness of the forest, but we had been happy. And together. Now Aaron was a murderer and he was fighting to make me into a murderer too.

Aaron shot a spray of ice at Joshua again and again and every single time Joshua avoided it, springing lightly into the air like he weighed nothing at all. He left no break in his defense, no way for Aaron to reach me. Aaron was becoming frustrated quickly, throwing his head back and letting out a long howl, almost like that of the wolves.

Joshua's head whipped to the side for only a fraction of a second, but in his expression was one of astonishment. One other vampire had escaped the Cullen's. I knew it before I saw the vampire. I just knew Joshua that well now. I tightened my grip on the tree trunk, trying to think clearly.

The vampire shot from the trees like a bullet, trying to get a hold of Joshua. Joshua sprang, grasping a branch ten feet above with one hand before falling back down to the earth like an angel. His expression was furious; he wasn't going to allow them to kill him because to allow that was to hand me over to them. I made that hope keep my heart beating, sure that every vampire within a ten mile radius could hear the pattering in my chest.

The vampire who had come to help my brother was a woman, to my surprise. Her red eyes glinted savagely, her lips pulled back into a hiss. She crouched and jumped, Joshua avoiding her.

Aaron's eyes flashed to me, and he smiled. I didn't expect to make it much longer. I was going to have to do something soon. Even with his own talents, Joshua could be no match for what Aaron could do.

How Aaron could do that I wasn't really sure. It didn't make sense. When he was human he had been just that, human. He didn't have any special gifts or powers that should have made him stronger in this life. Since when could my brother control the elements?

The wild female went at Joshua again, as Aaron's concentration turned to me.

Joshua's booming laugh suddenly rang out, making me jump. "You're wrong, Aaron."

Disbelief crossed over my brother's angelic features. He obviously didn't know the extent of Joshua's power. Joshua must have been answering his thoughts, because he hissed angrily. The female continued to keep Joshua occupied, Aaron occasionally spraying ice from his fingertips. My hands were sore from grasping the tree so tightly, but I couldn't let go. I needed something to keep me from screaming every time she darted towards my Joshua with lethal quickness. This was no newborn.

Aaron's red eyes flitted to me again, and then he was gone. I glanced around, but nothing. He was gone. Joshua growled, signaling that he noticed his absence too. However, there was nothing he could do. The female was dodging and feinting, their deadly dance getting faster and faster so that he couldn't risk one lapse in attention and control.

I continued to glance around wildly, looking for any sign of Aaron. I didn't understand when Joshua threw back his head and roared, his eyes falling wildly on me. My mouth fell open, one hand reaching for him. Something was wrong, but I couldn't figure out what. My eyes skimmed over every inch of his perfect white skin looking for any sign of injury.

I didn't find it.

I did become conscious of Joshua's reason for panic though. I couldn't hear him coming behind me, or even sense it. I should have been able to, to sense the danger, or even to sense him. When I did think to turn, it wasn't fast enough and then I felt a sharp pain in my throat; a searing burning pain that I had never come across before in all my life. I screamed.


	11. Chapter 11

_Song of the Chapter: Change (In the House of Flies)- Deftones (Really, listen to this song. It is literally perfect. As is Deftones.)_

After a moment I wasn't sure if it was his teeth in my neck that I was feeling or the aftermath of his bite. I vaguely remembered thinking it would be like burning alive. Strange that I was so right on. My neck felt on fire, pulsing and warming to a degree that should have charred my skin. I heard a high keening scream, and it took me second to realize it had come from my lips. I was immobile though, and I was sifting through a darkness that had fallen over my eyes the moment I felt his cold lips at my throat.

I heard an ethereal growl from somewhere outside the darkness, but it was hard to concentrate on that when the fire in my neck was beginning to spread, sliding into my veins, burning and transforming everything in its path.

I hazily remembered that I should be trying to fight, but against what I didn't know. I should be fighting this fire probably, but it was unbearable. Surely I couldn't burn this way and still be alive. It was impossible. I wanted to conjure up _his_ perfect face, knowing that somehow it would keep me going, keep my heart beating. I had promised to do that, hadn't I?

I remembered that he had been pale. I remembered his eyes were a liquid gold, sometimes black, but the face that was coming up before me wasn't right, somehow. It wasn't the face I wanted. This face had blond shimmering hair, not the silken black curls I was sure that he had. These eyes were red and they were _hungry. _I tried to shift my body away from this face, I didn't want to see it and it was close. But I couldn't move. I tried to concentrate on getting the right face this time, but this the horrible one with the red eyes kept coming before me.

The dark was pressing further and further down on my chest, making it harder for me to breathe. I fought against it but it felt like a dead weight; far too much for me to hold up on my own. The fire was spreading further now, coursing down from my throat into my shoulders. It was getting hotter and hotter and though I tried not to, I could feel myself screaming over and over again. _Please. _I wanted to beg. _Please, don't keep me alive for this. _I didn't want to burn alive. Any death would be better than this inferno devouring me. Anything had to be better then feeling every second of this hell.

And it was hell. I knew that. There was no other feeling on the earth that compared to this; not even death. Death was a relief comparatively. This must be what the Bible meant when it said they would be thrown into the pit with a groaning and a great gnashing of teeth. This must be what all those prophets meant when they spoke of God's punishment for the guilty. I was burning alive and it was never going to end.

I wailed again, wanting to thrash about, anything to bring a sort of relief but it was impossible. Nothing would stop this. The fire was sinking down into my arms now, burning them to a crisp. I had thought the pain in my neck couldn't get any worse, but it was. My whole upper body was boiling now, feverish and sweltering.

I felt a hand at my wrist, but it was impossible to know whose it was. It couldn't be his fingers, because the coolness of them would be heaven compared to this. I wanted to see his face, to be able to touch the perfection of it just one last time before I burned. But I couldn't find a way out of the darkness.

. . .

"Elena, my love."

Strange that I could hear him. I didn't know how long I had given into the shadows, but now his voice was saturating into my consciousness. I wanted the shadows to come back, there was less pain there. The world had always lived right outside the shadows, the darkness that humans feared. It was always there waiting, hungry and ready to devour the first soul it could grasp, and for awhile I was sure it had devoured me. I wanted it too. I wanted this to be done.

His voice should have given me enough will to fight, but all it brought was relief. Relief that he would be the last thing I would hear before I died. Before I fell further into the shadows that must be hell. I could handle burning for the rest of my life if he was the last sweet voice I heard.

Fingers again, on my ankle. Flames were coursing into every vein of my body, my heart thudding and stuttering. _Why hadn't I burned alive yet? _I recall in school hearing about heretics being burned at the stake alive. I had always pitied them, thought it was a horrible way to die. But I didn't know it could last this long. I hadn't known that the fire never ended. That you burned forever.

I wanted to scream again, but he was here and I didn't want him to hear me. Bad enough, wasn't it, that he had to sit and watch me die?

"Elena, stay." He whispered. What? I couldn't go anywhere.

Then I remembered. Oh yeah, I was dying. He wanted me to stay when I couldn't because the shadows were calling me again, slinking in mists around me, pulling me, whispering assurances of no pain, no feeling. Funny that in reality heaven was not feeling. Heaven was being numb.

"I would give all I have just to get you to stay." I heard him whimper in agony.

Agony shouldn't have been in his emotions. I knew he would be sad, of course, that I was dying. I wished I could comfort him, tell him that it was okay because even not existing was better than feeling the fire breathing in and out of my body without pause, without mercy. I wanted to tell him to end it, to kill me, but I didn't think I could fight my way out of the shadows long enough to say that. They were pulling me in further and I so wanted to give in, to feel nothing again.

. . .

"I'm sorry, Joshua." A female voice now, high and soprano. Alice. I could remember that much. The pain was greater this time, making me long for the shadows again, but I listened steadily for his voice. He was breathing in and out quickly.

"There is nothing we can do." It wasn't a question. More a whisper of damnation.

I wanted to scream again. Of course there was nothing they could do. I had to be close to death now, nearing the brink of the crevice that would topple me into nonexistence. The fire was sweltering, hotter and hotter and my heart was beating faster than I thought was possible. Eventually it would stop beating and I would be gone, with not even my memories to take with me because in the shadow world you could feel nothing, see nothing, remember nothing. And still it was a relief because anything was better than burning.

The face with the red eyes kept flashing before me and I didn't want it there. I didn't want to remember that face, because a part of me knew that that face was the reason I was burning in the first place.

"She has stopped screaming." His angelic voice muttered.

That was because I had realized that screaming was useless. I was dying and no amount of screaming or thrashing was going to bring me from that. I wanted it. I wanted it so badly that I could taste it on my tongue. I wanted to be _dead. _I felt my body convulse and though I tried, the thought ripped from my lips.

"Please, oh god, please kill me!" I screamed, and then the shadows pulled me under again.

. . .

When I came out of the dark this time, I noticed a difference. The fire was centering itself in my chest now near my heart. I almost crumpled in relief. It was almost over. The burning would consume my heart and then I would be gone, finally.

The fire receded from my limbs, racing to my chest through my veins tightening and changing, preparing me to die. The flames were licking around my heart now and it sped faster and faster, beating almost through my chest. I felt my body convulsing and though I wanted to scream, I was too thankful to do it. Too thankful that I wouldn't have to feel this anymore.

I clenched my fingers, hearing an intake of breath around me. He was still here. I wanted to ask him to speak again, to tell me that he loved me one last time before I heard nothing, ever again. But I couldn't speak without screaming and I didn't want to scream anymore. Not after the last time when I had given into my body's demands and asked him to kill me.

My heart was thudding frantically, trying to fight the flames I guessed. But it would lose and after my body convulsed one last time, It did what I had imagined it doing since the burning began. It stopped. It stopped, and the fire left. I waited for nothingness to come for me again, I waited to embrace the shadow world again. But instead, he spoke.

"Elena?"

I shuddered with surprise. Was he here, in the shadow lands with me? I opened my eyes.


End file.
